I be awesome. True story.

Your noticing my notice has been noted, thank you for noticing <3

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I hate

“Devout Catholics” quoting the Bible in their Facebook status more than often, especially when it happens to be the same guy that often calls you up at night to sneak out for you to give him a blowjob. Thanks, I’m flattered that you think the one I gave you was “the best you’ve ever gotten”, but I think you’re a hypocrite…

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